a life
poems in english
Is it love if
it makes me sleepless
and thights my chest at moonlight?
Is it love if
it makes me fall on my knees
to set prayers like seeds
into a ground so hollow
that it burns my feet?
Is it love if
it makes me linger to her voice’s ripple
and replay and murmur her words
to carve them in my deepest soul?
Is it love if
it makes me so graetful
that life seems, for once
a gift I deserve?
(if it takes me ages to say goodbye?)
Kites flying
in the storm.
A presage of loss.
Love,
knowing that the one you love
may not be here tomorrow,
knowing that today
may be your last day to truly meet,
knowing that you cannot know
how the story ends.
Care, care deeply, care until it hurts,
care in spite of what people say,
in spite of ridicule and rejection
and being misunderstood,
care so much that you no longer care
what happens to you.
Sink, sink willingly,
into this bitter-sweet mystery of love,
never knowing what love is and loving anyway,
like a fool, like a fascinated child,
like a madman,
like one who has forgotten how to be cynical,
or how to be right.
Love until your voice trembles,
and your heart pounds,
and your legs shake,
and your philosophies crumble to dust,
and your cleverness bows its head in shame,
in reverence.
And you will be taken to the darkest places,
and your heart will be set on fire
by the ones to whom you were never able
to open your heart,
and you will be reminded
of what you have always, secretly, known:
that in time, you will forget everything,
except how to die, and how to love.
That was the night
I stared at the Moon,
As my end unveiled.
Dispossesed of my own steps,
Going by a lost name,
A homeless vagabond
A hopeless yearner,
A sliver of radiant love,
Ready to mourn
The future I had lost.
Still, you haven’t learned
To undie.
You gasp in raised hands
And burn in silence.
You choose burdens
And leave lovers.
You set fire
To childhood dreams.
You set borders,
To turn hugs in fears.
You reclaim space
In your lonely place.
You claim kindess
But step on respect.
You value your life
Like a market good
The more you raise your price
The more you lose love.
Poor boy, has nobody told you
Everyone will die someday?
So why are you dying every day?
Haven’t you told me you had chosen life?
To be alive, you need to learn
To undie.
There is a holy sound
in your voice.
It shines upon every other note,
like an harmonic rising
from a sacred bell,
in a holy temple,
on a hallowed ground,
where a solitary monk is taking his vows.
A minor note
echoes
in silent nights
when peace is awaited.
Sometimes
The world shows its cracked core
An abyss of horrors, violence and bones
There is nothing to be done
Someone waits, someone jumps
Today I stood still and stared
As your eyes turned black
And I forgave you.
Tonight the wind is carring me your smell
of wood and rain,
as I knew it that night
we fell in love
and made it miracle.
When we opened our hearts of stone
to share warmth in the cold,
we witnessed a miracle.
I know you have to go, but make it slow.
I know you want to leave,
but let me give you some love.
May we keep safe down deep inside
the love we saved from the night,
it was such a miracle.
We were just two lost souls,
sharing love in the cold,
and witnessing miracles.
Is there something more worth to live for
than let our spirits grow old, in love?
Will you be like I belive you are?
Will I live after we say goodbye?
May you learn to lose me
and forgive yourself.
I’ll abide to the habit
of missing you.
May you gain your freedom
by forgetting my name.
I’ll abide to the habit
of missing myself.
I’ll abide to the habit
of bringing you back.
26/1/2020
Deprived of living
Starving for love
Craving for touch
Blown by emptiness
Every act is an absolute gift.
23/1/2020
How is it going?
It’s going between anxiety and 40 degrees
dreaming of the sea
of a place I want to be
which is not here
no not here
here I face my desease
my fears still teem with
broken dreams
oh i reedem while you leave
do not anchor me to your feet
cause i do not, no I do not need to belive
your fucking shit.
29/06/2019
May your breathing be honored
as the unvoluntary sign
of a pure existence,
of an innocent life
behind your lies
and your vile violence.
You are a treasure in the skin of misery
a miracle, unspoken.
22/11/2019
You were walking
in a sacred place
but you didn’t even get that.
You were baptized
in the water of my soul
but you didn’t even get that.
I worshiped you like a god
but you didn’t even get that.
Now
you are not the only one no,
you are not the only god.
I’m not a monotheist monogamist
anymore.
05/12/2019
Swipe up on my phone
Swipe up on my toughts
Swipe up on my dreams
Forget what’s real
Numbness is here
To take me away
Venom of our time
To replace every cell
Every living piece
With a damn pixel.
Oblivion is my daily routine
Amnesia for dinner I serve
Distraction or oversharing
Just the wrong timing again
Slanting I cross the room
Over and over again.
Swipe me up please
Shut me up please.
How many trains have you sitted in,
quietly exhaling
the stress of the day?
How many hands have
inadvertnetly touched your arms
while running to the exit door,
on that platform that once
I had been walking on?
Relocation is unfair,
it gets you to a place
which is never everywhere,
always here or there,
far or near
always in-between.
22/1/2020